Career vs. You

Career.


What does that mean? How often is that word used?


When did who you are become based on your career? When you meet someone, you ask what they do, not what they enjoy. What do you do for work? We judge people based on their jobs and not what they enjoy doing. I have met many people who are amazing at other skills and think of their job as a means to do their other skills. Simply put - their job is to make money for their passion. They do not want to turn their passion into the money-making part of their life. 


I envy those people who can show up to work and do their job for the satisfaction of getting paid. I do not know how to do that. I have poured my soul into my work my whole life. My career has become my identity. I realized the other day that I do not truly know who I am. When did I lose those parts of me? 


So, I want to change that. I do not think that I can simply change. It has to be a process and working hard towards regaining not being my career. I don’t want to be a cybersecurity professional when introduced. I want to be me. I want to be introduced as someone good at a hobby or something that is cool.


I started asking people at work what they want to do when they grow up. This is one of my favorite questions. I enjoy the answers from every single person. Why? This is because not one of the answers has ever been what their career currently is. Not one single answer. This is the joy that I want to find and live in.


The big question is can you have both? A career that you enjoy and are good at that does not define you?


I have spent countless hours gaining knowledge for my job, my career. Time outside of paid hours to benefit my employers with new skills. Did I get promotions? Yes. More money? Yes. Not once did I feel more satisfaction in my job even though I had advanced my career. I am not sure if there is satisfaction in the cybersecurity field, as there is a constant push to learn the newest technology and the newest threats. Cybersecurity does not finish tasks because security is never-ending. There is not a point where the risks and threats are zero.


Looking for the balance has been a challenge because I think I forgot what I like outside of work. I wake up in the morning to read the threat reports and immediately start thinking about how that impacts my environment. I work all day. Process the work day. Dream about solutions. I need to learn how to turn off those thought processes and enjoy other things. Except the risks and threats never go away, and I feel some responsibility to ensure my environment is as secure as can be. 


I can be doing other hobbies and still be working, as something needs updating or determining if I want to upgrade to the new OS. There is so much tech maintenance that goes on in our daily lives that it is not easy to separate work and other minutes in the day.


I will continue to work on it because I think it is very important to not be defined by your career. What do I want to be when I grow up? A barista/bartender at my own coffee/wine bookshop.

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