Feeling "Blah"
Do you ever get the feeling of blah? Or, maybe just not motivated to do the work?
Maybe there is just too much going on.
I tend to use the phone-a-friend option. I think it makes it easier to get a plan together and not end up doom-scrolling.
I like to call my bestie and today she got the call and was in the middle of cooking while I went on and on about how to figure out how to do savings and investing and 401k. She is super patient and sometimes just lets me work out my own problems by asking questions. Did I need her to figure anything out? Not really. I had the basic plan and needed to have a common sense check on it. Making sure that my math was mathing. (Also, who makes up all of these rules about how much you can put in your 401k?! And, determines that amount is sufficient?!)
I think that there are many different phases of careers and cycles within each phase. Sometimes I find a new job and sometimes I just sit and work through whatever the funk is. I am not sure if there is a right and a wrong answer to any of this. I only know what is working for me right in the moment of my career journey.
I really like the parts of my career path where I am sitting and absorbing knowledge like a damn sponge. I just inhale new information and let my brain happily process it. This cycle comes and goes. Right now it is not a learning phase and that is just not simply fun for me. It is like my mind just wants more and more and more knowledge. It gets all temperamental when it has to use the information that it clearly has used before and it does not have to really think about things.
I will be honest - polymorphic malware is where my happy place is. It is so cool and interesting - it changes! It reminds me of dressing up for Halloween and getting to pick whatever character you want to be. Except the polymorphic malware dives in wholly and does not come back out.
I was recently asked if I come from a compliance background. The answer is no. I come from a cryptology background. Sounds really cool when you say it. Not so cool when I explain what it actually is. That is okay. It is how I got to where I am today and I like where I am today. There person was very surprised that I had a technical background and not compliance only. I did not find it surprising they were surprised because I get this question all of the time. I remember the first time I sent an email. I remember thinking how much I wanted my own computer. I wanted to talk to other people who had computers. Except the only computer I had access to was in a public space and I was not allowed to take it apart.
I do remember taking apart my first computer (Windows) and thought it was the coolest thing ever, the next thing I took apart was a Windows Server. The first time I took apart a Mac, I was so excited that it was different and I could figure out new things.
So, sometimes when the blah hits, I think of all the times that there was chaos and bliss that led up to this blah. Each moment makes my skillset stronger and maybe it is good to let those skills marinate and enjoy the blah. Or, maybe it is time to find some new things to learn about…
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